- The main point of my essay is to get my audience (raped victims) to get permission to have an abortion without the government saying “no you cannot”.
- The purpose of my essay is to educate my audience on abortion, but focusing on the ones who get raped, and might want to get the abortion done.
- My audience for my essay is raped, victims.
Thesis:
Even though abortion some might see abortion is wrong, but it’s not a bad thing, especially if you are a raped victim because abortion should be allowed to a person based on their situation. A girl who gets raped has a right to get an abortion if she pleases because it lets them a voice of what they should do with that pregnancy.
Question: Can you tell what I am trying to say, and is my audience clear enough?
FYP Writing 1: Sabrina 
Hey Sabrina,
I think you can write the thesis in a way that is more clear and cage. I mean you thesis is to narrow. Remember that you are writing a 10 page essay and with this thesis I feel like you can barely write 4 pages. I think you should eliminate the part where you say ” especially if you are a raped victim..” because, as I said before, you narrowing you topic. If you put the thesis more broad you can use that sentence as one of your ideas in your essay,
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Also, I know what you are trying to say because I know what your topic is, as my partner, but I feel like if another person reads it, he or she will have gapes in these mind. Your audience is not clear enough. You jump from raped victims to a girl. Who is that girl you are talking about? Do you mean girls in general or just a girl?
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